DOOMED WIZARD DIARIES

Okay, it's been a long time since I've had the chance to update this lil ol' blog. So long, in fact that Blogger has apparently been consumed by Google and, I guess has a whole bunch of new features I'll have to learn to use. This was news to me. Anyway, since It's been awhile, I figured you good folks out there deserve a update bonanza, so here goes. Images gallore! That's what it's all about, right? First up is a picture of my incorrigible five-year-old Arlaux and an unsuspecting Santa. When we asked her what she wanted to wear to go see The Man, she immediately decided that the only outfit suitable was her Supergirl outfit. That's my girl! Next up is my latest obsession. During the 1970s, Marvel Comics published one of the best WWII-era comic books of all time. Roy Thomas and Frank Robins produced some of the most memorable, over-the-top stories I've ever read. My collection of "Invaders" books is only about a dozen, but I plan...

For those of you wondering, yes, I'm still diligently working on various comic book projects. At this writng, I'm a mere three pages from finishing the pencil work on Salem, AZ#1. Rest assured, there will be plenty on display here very soon. But, in the meantime, I'm watching more bad horror movies than I should admit to. This time I give you a "Dollar Store Cinema Double Feature," featuring Atom Age Vampire and Dr. Jekyll vs the Werewolf (yeah, you read that right). Atom Age Vampire is almost too good for this segment and is only a "b" movie as a matter of circumstance. After the beautiful dancer Janette (played with sultry glamour by Susanna Loret) is dumped by her boyfriend, she, in a fit of restless despair, suffers a horrible car accident, hideously scarring her once beautiful face. Lying in a hospital bed, suffering from the blackest depression, Jeanette is given a glimpse of hope from Monique, a beautiful, mysterious assistant to the sinist...

Here's the thing about October. I watch a lot of monster movies in October. When else can you get away with it, right? Luckily, dollar stores realize this so there's no short supply of crappy monster movies to be found. I call them "monster movies" instead of "horror movies" because, well, they're just not scary , which would imply horror . At least to me. Today, I picked up a copy of Atom Age Vampire , which is actually almost too good for my "Dollar Store Cinema" review, but more on it later. Instead, as promised, I give you... Bloody Pit of Horror! A group of photographers and models arrive at an Italian castle owned by a deranged ex-actor who is the reincarnation of the notorious medieval torturer, the Crimson Executioner. When he discovers that his ex-girlfriend is among the group, the enraged madman subjects them to his dungeon of torture. With scantly clad victims pleading for mercy as they face unendurable tortures, Bloody Pit ...

It's a little known fact that so-called dollar stores are a great place to scout out cheap movies on DVD. We have about a half dozen such stores in my little hometown here and, every chance I get, I scour them for DVDs. My philososphy is simple: if you pay a buck for a movie and it turns out to be crap, you're only out a buck. In the past, I've managed to find quite a few good movies this way, Kansas City Confidential, Deep Red and Legend of the Eight Samurai are among the good ones. Horrors of Spider Island , however, wasn't. It was, though, worth watching for its pure absurdity and it gave me the idea for a (hopefully) regular segment. I'm calling it "Dollar Store Cinema" and it will feature movies I've found that are so bad I couldn't look away. A team of girls find themselves caught in a deadly web when they are shipwrecked on a remote South Seas island. The lush, tropical isle seems an ideal place to await their rescue, but hidden in...

My dad sent this to me today and ordinarily I don't even open "forewards," but he usually sends me some good ones. I thought I'd share it with you. I don't know who wrote it, but they were dead on when they did: TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking . As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with ...

Project updates this time 'round! First, a bit of shocking news. Apparently Joe "Madskills" Fuentes had a bit of a setback when his computer crashed, taking with it all the color work he's done for Pickle Press. That includes all 32 pages of Three Keys #2 as well as work on a number of other Pickle Press books. But, he's assured Nik he's working night and day to get caught up. Per angusta ad augusta , I always say. Loosely translated: No pressure no diamonds. My work on the fist issue of Salem, AZ stalled out for a bit, but I'm back in the swing of things with only about eight more pages to pencil. Bill "Inkinator" Wilkison assured me in an email that his ink work on it is going swimingly. I believe his words were: Who said anything about a dry spell, bitch? I'm rolling in it! You gotta know the guy, I guess. Below are two panels from page thirty. Awhile back I did this picture of Kerry Connelly and when Nicole McClain saw it, s...

Okay, the random verb is "sneezed." I may never forgive Nik for introducing me to this damn game. 1. “Every time Paul sneezed , he blew the roof off the bunkhouse.” So they made me sleep outside at camp. 2. “Paul sneezed during class. He was turned into an apple.” And got kicked out of Hogwart’s for it, too! 3. “Paul sneezed. ‘Bollocks,’ he said, ‘I think I have caught a cold.’” Yeah, I can’t add anything to that one. It’s friggin’ perfect. 4. “Paul sneezed two cubes.” Hey, nobody told me not to drink my ice tea through my nose. 5. “Paul sneezed loudly and dabbed his nose with a lace-edged handkerchief.” Okay, it was my grandma’s and we were in church. 6. “Paul sneezed on the Superman comic.” Thus ruining the collector’s value! 7. “Paul sneezed the napkin off the table.” I got nothin’. 8. “Paul sneezed and made faces trying to stop himself from sneezing again and altered his voice which showed some signs of strain.” Emergency...

For sometime now, Bill " The Inkslinger " Wilkison has been posting "three minute interviews" with various artists in the field of comics. Now, you're not gonna find these folks listed in the credits of the everyday garden variety comic books you find at your local newstand (do they even have comics at your local newstand anymore?). No, these folks are on a path all their own and all of them are extraordinarily-talented individuals, so it seemed only right to interview the interviewer. But who is Bill Wilkison? Aside from being the force behind his three-issue comic book series featuring the Amazing Walter, Bill is an artist who knows no limits. I've only known Bill a few years, but it somehow seems longer. You can interpret that however you want, but I credit it to his love of the game of life. Bill has used Sharpies for so many years he should suffer a permanent contact buzz and he's the only guy I've ever met who gave himself his own nickna...

My six-year-old son Ayden drew this the other day and posted it on the 'fridge. I just had to share it.

My buddy Nik was right in his latest blog entry when he said: " I think memes exist solely to give bloggers things to post." And in keeping with that declaration, Here's his latest meme, followed by mine: 1. FIRST NAME: Paul 2. WERE YOU NAMER AFTER ANYONE?: Uh, I'm pretty sure a baby in the hospital was named before me. 3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?: Watching "Benchwarmers." I laughed so hard I cried. 4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yep. 5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Smoked turkey 6. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Yep. 7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?: Probably not as I can be pretty caustic & intimidating (or so I'm told). 8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?: Only online. 9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?: See #7 10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?: Yep 11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?: Maybe ten years ago. 12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?: Lucky Charms though I seldom eat cereal 13. YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?: Not usually....

It was a busy weekend! First there was my twenty-year high school reunion. It was actually two reunions in one as a good number of people that I graduated high school with I'd also graduated elementary school with. I think my entire elementary school student body was around three hundred and my high school graduating class was over three hundred. Big change. In a way, seeing some of the old grade school kids was more special. But that's not to say it was great seeing some of my old high school chums, some of whom I literally haven't seen since graduation twenty years ago. Then there was Wizard World, Chicago. I didn't set up with Nik this year. I've got a love/hate relationship with this show. It's a great convnetion to buy stuff, but they treat us small press guys like leppers when they should be kissing our feet. Artist Alley, the home of small pressers and day-jobbers like myself help keep the show afloat. Some of the finest books you'll ever r...

Over a year ago, at the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund auction at the spring Motor City Comicon, Nik bought this original Matt Feazell sketch of comic bookdom's first family, the Fantastic Four. Nik knows what a fan I am of Matt and his work, the guy's a true pioneer in the field of independant comics. If you're ever in my house, you'll see examples of Matt's genius almost everywhere. I can't go on enough about the guy. The Inkslinger shares my "hero worship" as well. Anyway, about the picture. I'd meant to post it after Nik gave it to me, but as John Lennon once said: Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. So, here it is, over a year later and I'm finally getting around to posting the Human Torch, the Invisible Girl, Mister Fantastic and the ever-lovin', blue-eyed Thing. Even my kids like this one.

Wait, it's not as bad as it sounds! I realize it's been awhile since I posted anything. Life, if nothing else, is full of surprises. That's all I'm sayin'. Since I don't have any pictures to post this time 'round, I'll post this: My pal Nik Harvert brought this little game to my attention. Simply type your name into Google followed by a neutral verb such as "watches," "eats" or, in my example below, "thinks." It's a lot of fun on a night of reruns on TV. Here's one I just did: Paul Thinks That We Are The A-Team. Paul thinks he's Batman. Paul thinks that people were doing just fine. (Admittedly, this is an abridgement of a boring statement concerning Social Security, but it's damn funny out of context) Paul thinks of snow. Paul thinks it's OK transpixel. (Only because it sounds kinda dirty) Paul thinks of the body as “something like a ganglion in a network of nerves." (Only because it sounds ...

Well, I've decided to take a crack at writing again. It's always been my second passion. While searching for the first draft of a book I wrote nearly a decade ago, which I figure could use a little work, I uncovered a bunch of short stories. To get back into the swing of things, I thought I'd polish 'em up a bit and post 'em for your entertainment and comments. The one I posted below is probably the last short story I ever wrote. It ain't too long & sorry, no pictures. "A Stray" By Paul E. Schultz Two Dobie pups roughhouse noisily in the dust, testing mettle, like all children will. Before Time's march leads them to adulthood. The lucky ones grow up. Some just grow old. I sit on the unfinished deck, in the thinning shade of the old house, watching idly, remembering what I can't forget. A boy I used to know, a stray who couldn't be house broke. Or broken. I light a cigarette from my nail apron--a candle in the window--drawing a conc...

This picture was presented to me a few days ago by my four-year-old daughter Arlaux. "It's you, dad," she announced.

I'd normally save this post for my daughter Arlaux's blog, but I just had share it here. The other day, Arlaux (4) and my son Ayden (6) were trying to figure out which presidents were on which coin. When they reached the penny, Arlaux triumphantly announced, "I know who's on the penny!" "Who?" asked her brother. "Johnny Cash!" Kris Kristofferson was right, I suppose. I've never been more proud. Keep it here, boppers.

It was convention time again this weekend & it was off to Detroit, Michigan to the Motorcity Comicon, which is, oddly enough, held in Novi, Michigan. Anyway, this time around it was all for fun. I've not attended a comic book convention just for the "fun of it" since I first started this wacky ride some two years ago. And this time around, it was a small army of us along for the ride. Barbi, Dwayne, his two boys Alec & Dylan and our friends Larry & Amanda "Sprinkles" Berker and their two boys Tyler & Jeremy all made the trek to geekdom this year. Aside from the radio konking out on us on the way home, the trip was uneventful, which is never the case. One of our first and most frequented stops was the Inkslinger's table. There's not much more about this guy that I can say that I haven't said before. Since I'm not sure how he might take that, I'll say one more thing: Bill will soon be taking the inking reigns on Salem, AZ...

And so another trip to SPACE has come and gone! This convention was a special one for a lot of reasons. It not only marked the second SPACE appearance for Mr. Pickle Press himself, Nik Havert & myself , but it was also the largest gathering of the happy few that make up the Orange Tablecloth Front . Who or what the hell is the OTF? you might ask? Well, I'm glad you asked. Basically a few of us indy guys got together to form a support group to help promote and support each other against the staggering odds against us set up by The Man. We're not out to change the world, just to let comic book fans know that there's a huge chunk of iceberg just below the surface. Why orange? you ask? If you ask fellow OTF conspirator Bill " The Inkslinger " Wilkison, he'll tell you it's because nothing rhymes with "orange." Above is a picture of myself (left) and Nik at the Pickle Press table just a few hours into the show. Aside from being set up across t...

I know I usually reserve the pictures of my daughter Arlaux for her own blog, but I just wanted to share these here. Here's my little four-year-old artist-in-training working diligently at my desk. For all the latest groovy news in her life, check out her blog: They Call Me "Boo-Boo."